Friday, May 3, 2013

Product Recall: Australian Reality Shows, 2013

Presented without much comment, because these just angry up the blood. These are all ACTUAL commercials for Australian reality shows. First, The Celebrity Apprentice, which began its third season last week:


I... I don't even know where to... huh?

Next, The Mole. Cancelled in 2003, revived in 2005, cancelled again after a disastrous season (live eliminations, WHY?), and revived again for this year. Now remember, this is a show about espionage and deceit and all the related stress and tension that goes along with it:


It's seriously like advertising Lost with clips from Gilligan's Island and expecting people not to be pissed because they're both about people stranded on an island. For comparison, here's the promo for this year's Dutch season:


So much better, you guys. Why is it so hard for Australian TV networks to understand how television works?

Third, Masterchef. Fifth regular season, tenth season overall (there have been a LOT of failed spinoff attempts).


Rightio, then. Because if there's something we all love on reality shows, it's obnoxious gender-split themes. And we'll just ignore the elephant in the room, all the judges being the same gender, shall we?

And then there's one - just one, mind you - that's actually pretty good. I KNOW! This is from The Great Australian Bake Off, a new show featuring - rather ironically - a former Junior Masterchef judge as its host.



I mean, it's clear the two hosts are both going to be autocue-strugglers, but aside from that it's just the right level of camp for this exact show. But still, can we PLEASE stop with overly-camp choreographed pre-season commercials?